A Parenting Breakthrough

Memorial Day- a day for remembrance, family time, & excessive fun times.

We spent a couple of hours at the pool, along with half the neighborhood, which was lots of fun.

Then we headed to a cookout! The boys all watched some vintage Silver Surfer while I cut up a watermelon. Little Bro even fell asleep while They were waiting on me. Which, honestly, should have been a clue.

The party was great- lots of good food, kids to play with and Blue Moon beer on tap. The Boys however, took a bit to warm up- a mixture of tired from swimming and overwhelmed by new people.

But they soon got acclimated and were eating hotdogs and shooting water guns with the rest of the kids in no time.

Around 7:30, however, things started to fall apart (and not just for us).

It started with a terrifying scream from one of our friend's little boys.

As I, and every other parent, whipped our heads up to see what was the matter, Little Friend stood screaming and crying, with his finger pointed at Big Bro, as a water cannon fell to the ground from atop the jungle gym.

Big Brother looked slightly smug.

Long story short: he had ripped the toys from Little Friend's hand and thrown it to the ground, then refused to apologize for it (protesting that he had done it because Little Friend's momma had told him it was time to go) and then in the car home, where I was trying to find out if he'd followed through on his apology, back talked me like nobody's business.

Which of course is a major 'button' for me.

Here's where I had the breakthrough.

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We were cruising down Peoria, headed home and as he continued to protest that he didn't need to apologize, I pulled the car over, put on the hazards and slammed on the e-brake.

Then I took a deep breath, turned around and quietly told him he was in big trouble and what for.
Then I acknowledged that I was very angry and that we wold have to wait until we got home to continue this discussion and talk about consequences.

The drive home was rather quiet after that.

~~~

And that's what we did. We sat down and had a good discussion about obedience, treating others they way you want to be treated, etc. And then, since he's old enough to understand 'consequences', asked for his opinion on his consequence. Of course he picked the worst thing he could think of- no bike riding- but since I for SURE don't want to take away physical activity outlets- we amended that to no Wii. And he's going to have to call and follow through on the apology.

But all of this was done with no shouting (well, maybe a bit before I pulled the car over) and a good discussion, with both G and I present.

Seeing as this is the 2nd time he's pulled a 3 peat of behaviors in as few days, I'm not convinced that Big Bro is going to win any awards for obedience any time soon, but we're working on it.

And I certainly am glad that my blood pressure is staying calmer, even as Big Bro continues to push my buttons.

~~~

What do you think about my breakthrough (discipline w/o shouting)? have you ever pulled the car over to address a misbehaving child? What are other techniques for addressing disobedience?