The "that" of course being fostering.
Oh, "that'd be soooo hard"
Oh, "ugh I could NEVER do that, I'd get so attached!!"
Like "it'd be so haaaaaaard"
"I'd be so saaaaad to see them go!"
No shit, Sherlock. It IS hard, it does suck, you DO get attached and yes, it rips your heart out when they leave.
But fostering is not about YOU and your emotional COMFORT, it's about being willing to be provide safety & comfort for a child whose whole world is NOT safe or comfortable.
So, please, save it- you whining about how hard it would be for YOU belittles those of us who DO. Encourage, praise, even just a "wow" would be fine, but don't wax eloquent about how you could neeeever do it, lest I be forced to school you about how selfish you sound.
*mic drop*
Girlfriend, that was AWESOME. And so true. If people only knew how selfish I thought they were after they say those same exact things to us ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Because I do. And they'd be horrified and offended if they knew it.
ReplyDeleteThis is not easy. This has never been easy. Especially the more kids there are in my house, and we both work full-time like you all do, etc., etc. It sometimes drives me crazy when I get the compliments about being a supermom, etc., etc. I know they mean well, but no I am not a supermom, many days I feel like I fail at this, and it is stinkin' hard, especially when people are quick to offer up compliments, but never offer up much-needed help. Heck, the appointments alone associated with our kids every week would drive anyone crazy! :) But we do it because we no longer put ourselves first. And apparently we are gluttons for punishment, haha, and not being treated so nicely by the system sometimes.
Keep on pressin' on, my friend. I may be a fellow foster parent, but I am inspired and encouraged walking alongside another who feels the same as I.
Ditto on the on compliments, but no actual physical help-- that's discouraging, actually.
Delete"we no longer put ourselves first"- yes. and thank you for the reminder this morning.
I totally agree and have said more than once how those comments are NOT helpful to me. I like it best when people say "thank you for what you're doing" and leave it at that. But actually now that I think about it, the highest compliment or encouragement would be someone choosing to foster because they watched us make it through.
ReplyDelete