Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for my family-- in-laws, parents, assorted nieces, nephews and grandparent who love on, care for and celebrate Miss M and Baby A every chance they get.

A year ago we proudly hosted Thanksgiving in our newly remodeled house and fielded questions about our DHS home study and training classes.

This year, we gratefully decamped to Nana's house, where everyone giggled over the baby shoveling turkey and dressing into his little ravenous maw, and marveled at Miss M's dexterity at handling the scissors in an after dinner craft project with my sister.

(And we won't talk about the late night repercussions of an off-kilter eating and sleeping schedule.)

What a difference a year makes, indeed. It's been a for better and worse kind of deal, but I'm thankful for the experience and these kids, nonetheless


Pic: G's 92 year old grandpa, lovin on Baby A.

Attitude of Gratitude

A few months ago, we had a sermon series on tithing, and all I could think about was teaching Miss M to give...my parents taught me to tithe & give when I was a little girl, and it has been a part of my life since I was 5 or 6. It's a big part of being a good steward, in Christian terminology, or just a plain old good citizen, I feel, to save some of your income and give some away.

Also, Thanksgiving is coming up and many of my friends are actively counting their blessings in daily status updates. Cultivating gratitude is indeed a daily exercise.

Frankly, though thankfulness can be a hard row to hoe when everyone else seems to have lots to be thankful for and I can't seem to get well enough to think straight! (Damn you, flu season )
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Along these lines, my mantra has been for the past several years: "Comparison is the thief of joy." This phrase has helped jealsous ol me through many a friend getting pregnant! I refuse to compare my family's situation with others. It not only steals my joy, but sours the happiness I have FOR them.

Another way of looking at this is that there is always someone who is gonna be better off than you, but likewise, someone who is likely worse off than you, no matter who low you fall!

All of this combines in my mind to come up with the question:

How do I teach my foster kids to give, 

even when they ARE The "least of these"? 

Miss M and Baby A are comparatively lucky: they is no longer in an abusive situation, and they are massively loved--by us, by their teachers, by their former foster parents, by a passel of friends and church workers-- and BONUS, have a parent that wants themback and is actively working to fulfill the obligations that DHS has required of them.

I want to cultivate an attitude of gratitude in Miss M. Right now, she's pretty selfish and "me me me"--typical 5 year old behavior, I know. BUT, that's my job as 'mom for now", to teach her the things her own mom should be teaching her. That the holidays aren't just about presents, but about caring for others, about giving as much as getting.
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I work for Salvation Army and we are in high gear already with Christmas- Angel Trees launch tomorrow and so do the Red Kettles.

I'm excited to take Miss M shopping for another child, one who won't get presents, if not for Angel Tree.

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What do you do, friends, to encourage giving and gratefulness in your children?
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p.s. find out more about Angel Tree, check out SalArmyTulsa on FB.

Guilt

Things I feel guilty about, presented without comment:

1. Submitting the kids for DHS Christmas gift program.

2. Signing up miss M for Free and Reduced lunch program.

3. Taking advantage of the daycare being open till 6, by running errands or catching a power nap in the parking lot.

4. Feeling a sliver of empathy for Baby A's abuser. God, when that kid screams he absolutely rattles my brains.

5. Neglecting quality time with my husband for quality time with my pillow.

Yeah.