This baby was supposed to be "really easy, really good". And he is, the majority of the time.
Except for when he's teething. Then he's a jerk who cries for no reason. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but this week....it made me cry too.. Why? Because I have strep throat. Of course I do!
I actually postponed my 30th Birthday party this Saturday (we won't talk about the day itself), because of said illness. And have spent the past 4 days bemoaning my fate...and glaring at the baby for usurping my position as most pitiful person in the house. Dang baby.
Otherwise, yes, he's great- sweet, goofy, sleeps a lot, eats well, loves to swim and generally charms everyone.
We like him. We're keeping him. And his sister.
Yup. Permanent placement, ho!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Giggles
Uh-oh.
Lady M is growing on me.
I love the silly faces she makes.
I am charmed by her unbidden "thank-you's" for snacks & toys.
I adore her long glossy black hair.
I am amused by her bossiness.
I am impressed with her powers of observation & questions.
And I don't even mind her "sleepy sillies" and incessant giggling during story time, because it's just too cute.
Better enjoy her while I can.
Lady M is growing on me.
I love the silly faces she makes.
I am charmed by her unbidden "thank-you's" for snacks & toys.
I adore her long glossy black hair.
I am amused by her bossiness.
I am impressed with her powers of observation & questions.
And I don't even mind her "sleepy sillies" and incessant giggling during story time, because it's just too cute.
Better enjoy her while I can.
Childcare
I have never had the distinct pleasure that is locating childcare until yesterday.
Lady M & Baby A's daycare faculty was located in Collinsville and after 2 days of driving 25 miles each way for drop-off & pick-up, I had to admit that it'd be a whole whole lot easier to find daycare slightly closer to home.
Unfortunately, because they weren't supposed to stay with us past the weekend, I don't have a DHS childcare co-pay card and no one would take them without one. Called close to 10 different daycares before I found one that a) took both infants & 4 year olds b) had openings for both c) would allow me to "backswipe" the card once Ingot it.
And although I really really hated to take the kids somewhere new, I just couldn't swing the drive (which caused me to be massively late to work on Monday- thank goodness for a understanding boss- hi L!).
But to be honest, as I dropped off the kids this morning, I was a little leery of the joint. There are kids swarming everywhere, the toys are well-worn, sign-in sheets are handwritten. Nothing wrong with any of that, but it's much different from the place they were at in Collinsville (teachers in scrubs, daily feeding/diapering chart for Baby, well lit and airy).
Hmm. We'll see.
I hope I don't have to get on the phones again; finding childcare is a nightmare.
Lady M & Baby A's daycare faculty was located in Collinsville and after 2 days of driving 25 miles each way for drop-off & pick-up, I had to admit that it'd be a whole whole lot easier to find daycare slightly closer to home.
Unfortunately, because they weren't supposed to stay with us past the weekend, I don't have a DHS childcare co-pay card and no one would take them without one. Called close to 10 different daycares before I found one that a) took both infants & 4 year olds b) had openings for both c) would allow me to "backswipe" the card once Ingot it.
And although I really really hated to take the kids somewhere new, I just couldn't swing the drive (which caused me to be massively late to work on Monday- thank goodness for a understanding boss- hi L!).
But to be honest, as I dropped off the kids this morning, I was a little leery of the joint. There are kids swarming everywhere, the toys are well-worn, sign-in sheets are handwritten. Nothing wrong with any of that, but it's much different from the place they were at in Collinsville (teachers in scrubs, daily feeding/diapering chart for Baby, well lit and airy).
Hmm. We'll see.
I hope I don't have to get on the phones again; finding childcare is a nightmare.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Torn
Many of you no doubt laughed when I proclaimed our new placement "easy".
And the kids ARE pretty easy--Baby A is happy & busy, except for when he's hungry. Lady M is wonderfully lively & chatty, vocal about her likes & dislikes & demands things her way. But she is easy to redirect & frankly, easier than either of The Boys in terms of behavioral issues.
What is not easy about this placement are the circumstances. What was supposed to be a temporary respite visit has, due to health issues, turned into the kids needing a new foster family. And although we agreed to respite care, we felt enormous pressure (mostly from the foster parents, an assumption almost) to take the kids as a permanent placement.
And it's tempting.
And heart-breaking.
But it's not what we signed up for- in terms of some of the kids' issues & their situation (which I obviously can't disclose here).
So, we still have them. And will take them to daycare (in Collinsville), and will read them stories (2, in a rocking chair), go for walks & paint fingernails until their new "Momma & Daddy" can be found.
And the kids ARE pretty easy--Baby A is happy & busy, except for when he's hungry. Lady M is wonderfully lively & chatty, vocal about her likes & dislikes & demands things her way. But she is easy to redirect & frankly, easier than either of The Boys in terms of behavioral issues.
What is not easy about this placement are the circumstances. What was supposed to be a temporary respite visit has, due to health issues, turned into the kids needing a new foster family. And although we agreed to respite care, we felt enormous pressure (mostly from the foster parents, an assumption almost) to take the kids as a permanent placement.
And it's tempting.
And heart-breaking.
But it's not what we signed up for- in terms of some of the kids' issues & their situation (which I obviously can't disclose here).
So, we still have them. And will take them to daycare (in Collinsville), and will read them stories (2, in a rocking chair), go for walks & paint fingernails until their new "Momma & Daddy" can be found.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Respite
It has been 6 weeks or so since DaBoys went home. In that time, we've seen them twice- once to drop off their bikes & once because they needed picked up from day camp unexpectedly. I'm just really thankful that their mom considers me someone she can call in an emergency; it's a good sign.
~~~~~
Today brought an unexpected situation: we were asked to provide respite care for another foster family, for the weekend. I got a call about 3:30, while I was wrapping up my first full week at my new job (woo!).
The worker explained the situation (foster mom health issues), the kids' ages (4 & 18 mo.) & asked if we could help out. I immediately wanted to take the kids (their situation is very sympathetic), but thought maybe I should consult with Mr. Greg first.
Of course, easygoing guy that he is, he said yes. Before I know it, I'm getting the foster dad's info and arranging a drop off.
They showed up around 7; high chair, pack n play, Barbies & booster seats in tow.
The foster dad had very kindly written down bedtime instructions & helpful hints, and even left his cell number.
The kids settled in pretty quickly. The girl, 4, who I'll call Lady M (very pretty, witty & wise), played with Lola & explored the whole house, while I sorted through Baby A's diaper bag, in search of a changing pad. Finding none, I used an (old, forest green) towel & soon set him to rights.
We played for a bit, then I fed Baby A a bottle & put him in the Pack N Play to sleep.
He wasn't having it, so Lady M "read" him a story & we tried again.
Success!
Lady M drew for another little while, then put on her jammies & brushed teeth; then I read 2 books & rocked her (per instruction sheet) & put her to bed. She was out, stuffed unicorn tucked under her arm, in 10 minutes.
Hope the rest of the weekend is this easy!
~~~~~
Today brought an unexpected situation: we were asked to provide respite care for another foster family, for the weekend. I got a call about 3:30, while I was wrapping up my first full week at my new job (woo!).
The worker explained the situation (foster mom health issues), the kids' ages (4 & 18 mo.) & asked if we could help out. I immediately wanted to take the kids (their situation is very sympathetic), but thought maybe I should consult with Mr. Greg first.
Of course, easygoing guy that he is, he said yes. Before I know it, I'm getting the foster dad's info and arranging a drop off.
They showed up around 7; high chair, pack n play, Barbies & booster seats in tow.
The foster dad had very kindly written down bedtime instructions & helpful hints, and even left his cell number.
The kids settled in pretty quickly. The girl, 4, who I'll call Lady M (very pretty, witty & wise), played with Lola & explored the whole house, while I sorted through Baby A's diaper bag, in search of a changing pad. Finding none, I used an (old, forest green) towel & soon set him to rights.
We played for a bit, then I fed Baby A a bottle & put him in the Pack N Play to sleep.
He wasn't having it, so Lady M "read" him a story & we tried again.
Success!
Lady M drew for another little while, then put on her jammies & brushed teeth; then I read 2 books & rocked her (per instruction sheet) & put her to bed. She was out, stuffed unicorn tucked under her arm, in 10 minutes.
Hope the rest of the weekend is this easy!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Parting is...
... a sweet sorrow, it's true. It's also bittersweet. And freeing. And heartbreaking. All at the same time.
Big Bro and Little Bro went home to their Momma's house today. For good.
~~~~~
I've tried to write this post twice now, in anticipation of their departure-- slated as 5/29 from the day we picked them up from the shelter. But as their departure was delayed, and delayed again- things got tense. I was stressed to the max- trying to keep all their clothes clean so we could pack at any moment, use up all the 'kid' food and then scramble for something else to feed them when the days came and went. Try to act like things are normal, do our normal routine, while waiting for the phone to ring from the case worker. That post was entitled "Tightrope".
Previous to that I chronicled the steps leading to the waiting game: worker visits in our home, discussions about 'bridging' with Mom, trips to visit the kids' lawyers, having to reschedule the therapist because I honestly don't know who's house they are going to be at on X date. That post was entitled, rather clinically, "Reunification."
~~~~~
But when it came down to it. Today. I was trepidtious. Not knowing how I would feel. Glad to get my house back? Sad to see them go? Weirdly thrilled to be rid of the fighting, the tantrums, the drama?
Yes. But as I packed their clothes, their toys, their gifted CD player, their basketball and tiny toothbrushes, I was overwhelmingly sad.
And as they clamored to know "Is it time to go yet?!", sadder.
And as Little Bro said, enthusiastically, honestly, "I been wantin' to get out of here for awhile!", gut-punched.
~~~~~~~
I do my best, but there's no denying that these boys want their Mom, they miss her and as much fun as we have here- bikes! pool! cookouts!- we are not 'home'.
I recently saw a blurb (probably on Pinterest) that said "Home is wherever Momma is" and at the time, I thought, "Well, not always."
But I think it's true, even for--especially for-- kids in OKDHS custody. We were fortunate that The Boys' Momma is good people. She's young and she made a mistake that got her kids taken away from her. But, unlike some people in the system, she desperately wants them back. And has done everything the courts have asked her to do in order to make that a reality.
Fortunately, she is open to "Bridging" which is a fancy DHS term that basically means staying in touch. We plan to see them soon- have to take their bikes to them tonite- and hope to stay involved in their lives in the coming weeks and months.
~~~~~~~
As we stuff Mom's small car full of the books, clothes, games, toys, balls, shoes, etc. that they aquired in the 9 weeks they've been with us, I have to conciously step back to let Her repremand the boys as they squabble over who gets to sit in the front seat. I'm not in charge any more.
As they back out of our driveway, I can see Big Bro waving from the backseat. Little Bro rolls down the window and shouts, adorably, "See you later, alligator!" I will miss their silly antics.
As they drive out of sight, I step into a suddenly quiet house and walk unempeaded to my office to sit down and write this post, which is entitled "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Because it is both sweet- they are going home with Momma, to a new house, a new beginning- and sorrowful-- they aren't here with me anymore. But mostly, I am grateful for a successful first placement and look forward to the next.
Big Bro and Little Bro went home to their Momma's house today. For good.
~~~~~
I've tried to write this post twice now, in anticipation of their departure-- slated as 5/29 from the day we picked them up from the shelter. But as their departure was delayed, and delayed again- things got tense. I was stressed to the max- trying to keep all their clothes clean so we could pack at any moment, use up all the 'kid' food and then scramble for something else to feed them when the days came and went. Try to act like things are normal, do our normal routine, while waiting for the phone to ring from the case worker. That post was entitled "Tightrope".
Previous to that I chronicled the steps leading to the waiting game: worker visits in our home, discussions about 'bridging' with Mom, trips to visit the kids' lawyers, having to reschedule the therapist because I honestly don't know who's house they are going to be at on X date. That post was entitled, rather clinically, "Reunification."
~~~~~
But when it came down to it. Today. I was trepidtious. Not knowing how I would feel. Glad to get my house back? Sad to see them go? Weirdly thrilled to be rid of the fighting, the tantrums, the drama?
Yes. But as I packed their clothes, their toys, their gifted CD player, their basketball and tiny toothbrushes, I was overwhelmingly sad.
And as they clamored to know "Is it time to go yet?!", sadder.
And as Little Bro said, enthusiastically, honestly, "I been wantin' to get out of here for awhile!", gut-punched.
~~~~~~~
I do my best, but there's no denying that these boys want their Mom, they miss her and as much fun as we have here- bikes! pool! cookouts!- we are not 'home'.
I recently saw a blurb (probably on Pinterest) that said "Home is wherever Momma is" and at the time, I thought, "Well, not always."
But I think it's true, even for--especially for-- kids in OKDHS custody. We were fortunate that The Boys' Momma is good people. She's young and she made a mistake that got her kids taken away from her. But, unlike some people in the system, she desperately wants them back. And has done everything the courts have asked her to do in order to make that a reality.
Fortunately, she is open to "Bridging" which is a fancy DHS term that basically means staying in touch. We plan to see them soon- have to take their bikes to them tonite- and hope to stay involved in their lives in the coming weeks and months.
~~~~~~~
As we stuff Mom's small car full of the books, clothes, games, toys, balls, shoes, etc. that they aquired in the 9 weeks they've been with us, I have to conciously step back to let Her repremand the boys as they squabble over who gets to sit in the front seat. I'm not in charge any more.
As they back out of our driveway, I can see Big Bro waving from the backseat. Little Bro rolls down the window and shouts, adorably, "See you later, alligator!" I will miss their silly antics.
As they drive out of sight, I step into a suddenly quiet house and walk unempeaded to my office to sit down and write this post, which is entitled "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Because it is both sweet- they are going home with Momma, to a new house, a new beginning- and sorrowful-- they aren't here with me anymore. But mostly, I am grateful for a successful first placement and look forward to the next.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Summer Reading Program
We trundled down to our neighborhood library yesterday and got signed up for the summer reading program.
The boys were not impressed. Until they learned there were PRIZES.
Then they were all about it.
The first prize level is 8 books read, & Big Bro of course picked out 8 book. So he could "win". Hehe.
I'm so glad they are into it, I always loved the summer reading program.
Did you?
The boys were not impressed. Until they learned there were PRIZES.
Then they were all about it.
The first prize level is 8 books read, & Big Bro of course picked out 8 book. So he could "win". Hehe.
I'm so glad they are into it, I always loved the summer reading program.
Did you?
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