Holidaze

Man, I tell you what- I'm plum worn out from the holidays.

I'm back at work today (12/26) and am secretly glad about it.

The holidays are rough with foster kids. Every one of the big 3 has been a absolute or near disaster.

Halloween- costumes? score. Free lions' costume for Baby A. Made a cute black cat costume for Miss M, she wore it for a week. Day of? Diaster. We went to our friend's house to Trick or Treat in their posh neighborhood and not only did we run 45 minutes late, but we only trick or treated for 30 minutes (M tripped over her own feet and spilled all of her candy no fewer than 3 times), then back at the house, she refused to eat any of the provided food and split her lip playing with the other kids upstairs. We left early.

Thanksgiving: Baby A and I were sick. Missed half of Thanksgiving dinner, due to unconsciousness. Tried to spend the night at in-laws house. Utter hell.

 Miss M fell asleep on the couch and had to be moved to a bed, which woke her up; crying ensued. Baby A wouldn't sleep in his pack and play; I got up with him, got head butted for my trouble. We both cried. Packed up and went home the next morning. Everyone slept better in their own beds.

Christmas: Multiple celebrations AT OUR HOUSE (we learned from Thanksgiving)- with former foster parents, with my folks, with G's folks and by ourselves.  Only one out of the four was a near disaster.

Christmas Eve was nice- had dinner and presents with the in-laws at our place- until the very end, when Miss M, who'd been under the weather all day, had a melt-down at the end of opening presents. Just completely worn out and emotional, crying for her 'real Dad'. Which was both heartbreaking... and totally inappropriate- considering he didn't even bother to pretend that he got them Christmas gifts at his last visit. Besides, as I'm figuring out, crying for her dad is really just code for: "I'm tired and emotional, please rock me."

So I did- hustled her off to bed, soothed and petted her.

Missed Baby A walking unaccompanied, but at least she got to bed (not that she STAYED THERE. Gah.) Thank God my in-laws are the kindest, most gracious people on the planet.

Calmest by FAR was on actual Christmas Day, where we stayed, just the 4 of us, in our pajamas all day, took lots of naps, and played quietly.
~~~

I understand now why parents with young kids don't leave the house very much. It's too much fucking work and trauma to go anywhere or DO anything. Please someone tell me this gets better?
Am I doing something wrong? Are most holidays hellish? Is this a foster thing? or a little kid thing?

So yeah. I'm glad to be at work, away from the noise and emotion, mess and angst of the kiddos. Bring on the year-end paperwork.